Cruise on Carnival's Legend a Wonderful Way to Vacation

We embarked on Carnival’s Legend on October 23rd for an eight-day cruise to the southern Caribbean. We looked forward to a vacation filled with drinks adorned with umbrellas, days lounging at poolside, shopping and sightseeing in exotic islands and locales, St. Maarten, Barbados and Martinique and, food, food, food!

I had been under the impression, based on “conventional wisdom" that Carnival cruses were aimed at younger guests, perhaps those in their 20’s or 30’s, either in couples or, perhaps, with young children or teens. I had noticed that, in recent commercials, there were now a few images of older couples, not old but certainly more mature. But, still, there was that image in my mind.

My wife, Joan, and I, in our very early 70’s, had been on cruises with Celebrity, Norwegian Cruse Lines and Princess (a Carnival-owned company). The cruises were uniformly wonderful and cruising swiftly has become our favorite kind of holiday. Still, the demographics bothered me to some extent. According to Carnival, 30 percent of its passengers are under the age of 35, 40 percent are between 35 and 55, and 30 percent are over 55.

However, the son of two close friends (whom I’ll call “Lida" and “Roy", primarily because that’s their names) works for Carnival and arranged for tickets for the four of us. So, on Sunday, we slept at our friends’ home and left early for Fort Lauderdale to begin our adventure.

We boarded the ship early on Monday and took the opportunity to explore and find our way about.

Legend is a magnificent ship. Our cabins were on the Panorama Deck, the eighth of twelve decks and the highest deck with staterooms. Above us were four decks with pools, spas, exercise tracks and enough restaurants, snack bars, and regular bars to ensure that no passenger died of starvation or lack of fluids! Unfortunately, as I will explain, our cabin was directly beneath the 24-hour pizzeria! But on this first day, we spent the time to familiarize ourselves with the ship and some of the public lounges and dining rooms.

The first thing one notices on Legend is the atrium than runs from the second deck upward for a total of nine decks. Glass enclosed elevators make each trip up and down, amidships, an opportunity to view and enjoy a view that is pure excess! Roman urns are set into the walls, a giant painting of a semi-nude Colossus of Rhodes covers one wall and, generally, the ornate display is garish and lavish and, somehow, fits in quite well. The lounges and bars are spread throughout the ship and seem to cater to all tastes and proclivities.  There are jazz venues, piano bars, and one, Dreamland, has a sports motif, lots of television sets scattered around cocktail tables and, yes, another bar. (This bar had slot machines built in, just in case one did not lose too much in the main casino.) We look forward to, perhaps, watching the New York Giants-Tampa Bay Buccaneers game the following Sunday. Alas, the television on the ship gets it signals from Denver (Denver?) and our Bucs do not display their ineptitude for our viewing.

By now, it’s time for our life jacket and life boat drill. The announcement mentions that this is a requirement by law and we are assured by crew that it is very unlikely that the ship will sink. After a week’s worth of food, I am not too sure of the passengers, however.

Dinner is in the Truffles restaurant, a two-deck elegant restaurant with attending waiters, white gloves and all, and assistants and other minions all determined to make dining a pleasure and an experience. They succeed and it is. We enjoyed a menu that was extensive and varied. We found the food on Legend uniformly well designed, the recipes created by a new Master Chef for Carnival, but the actual preparation was not uniformly great. For example, the lamb was overcooked and tough, and later that week, the Chateaubriand was also was over cooked and, also, tough. To their credit, the staff was more than willing to exchange meals and try and accommodate us.  Food on Carnival’s Legend was not, for example, on a par with that on Princess ships, a corporate sister to Carnival.. On the other hand, prices on Carnival are significantly lower than those on Princess.

The next morning, Joan and I, determined to keep in some sort of shape, went to the gym on the tenth deck. The treadmills face picture windows with a view that is simply magnificent. We worked out for about ninety minutes and vowed to repeat the regime every morning. Alas, another good intention dashed.

After dinner, each night, the four of us visited the Club Merlin casino. The walls are covered with shields and goblets from King Arthur time and legend, the floors are covered with slot machines and gaming tables, with the emphasis on the former.  Ship staff circulates constantly, offering drinks to make the losing more comfortable.. Most of the action is at the slots and the “bonging" of winner sounds are everywhere. We earn few “bongings". Joan was slightly ahead and I managed to lose almost always. My luck with gambling is such that I once remarked in driving past Atlantic City that I would not go to the casino; I would simply mail them a check.

I noticed that most people only remember the winnings and forget the investment that had been deposited into the machine. At and around the slots, bar staff circulate to provide libations and strength in case pulling the levers has proved too hard. Actually, the newer machines have no levers, just buttons, “repeat bet" or (my downfall) “bet maximum". The latter allows one to go home early.

Every evening there is a show in the Follies, a theater in the front of the ship. There were a number of shows; the corps of singers and dancers were young, energetic, talented and really good. On two nights there were a comedian and a magician-juggler who were entertaining and, at late night, a “R-Rated" adult comedy show. These were the same as the early show with four-letter words bandied about. If your taste runs to smutty words and you giggle at jokes about bodily functions, fine. Most of the regular shows were very entertaining.

On one night, there was a Halloween costume party and contest. Joan and I borrowed scrubs, white coats and stethoscopes from our doctor-kids. We wore signs that said, “PARADOX". Everyone commented on how great the costumes but we lost the contest to a couple wearing homemade turkey outfits. As people were being introduced, we noticed the range of ages on the ship. There were a number of honeymooners and a significant number of couples celebrating their fiftieth anniversary.

We were scheduled to disembark at St. Maarten, Barbados and Martinique. At the first, we were introduced to a fantastic rum flavored with vanilla, coconut or pineapple. This light run, “Splash", on the rocks went down oh so smoothly. I never enjoyed rum; I am now a convert! Several bottles purchased, much shopping by the wives, and we were back on the ship. Joan and I had been to St. Maarten and decided to forgo escorted tours.

On Barbados, our next stop, we engaged a taxi driver for several hours. .He took us around the island and showed us beautiful portions of the island.. We visited a church, continuously in use for 400 years, the site of Tiger Woods’ wedding and the Mount Gay distillery. After a movie on the history and manufacture of rum, we thoroughly enjoyed the tasting. I bought a bottle of old rum that was more like a cognac or fine brandy.

When one buys liquor on an off shore island, the bottles brought back to the ship is not seen again until the last evening. So our bottles were brought home unopened; not to worry, Thanksgiving is almost here.

Our final port was a total disappointment: Martinique. We were in the main city, Fort-De-France. The streets are full of pot holes, the infrastructure is shoddy and, worst of all, the people were decidedly unfriendly. This was true of even those whose livelihood depends on tourists, cab drivers, store clerks and others.

Two examples.

We were in the main shopping area and I needed a rest room, quickly and urgently. I have a cane and was making my way down the street when I spotted a familiar sign, the Golden Arches of McDonald’s. I went into the restaurant and saw a familiar sign, the international sign for handicapped restrooms. The door was locked and a sign said, in French, (I think) that the facility was out of order. I asked the manager, who was obvious in his reluctance to speak English, and was directed to a narrow spiral examples. I made my way upstairs only to find a men’s room and ladies’ room with the latter broken and a line of about four women waiting for the men’s facility. When I finally got in the door, the facility was dirty, paper towels on the floor and one of two light bulbs burned out.

The second example involved the taxi ride back to the ship. We were accosted by a taxi driver for the trip back to the pier. The four of us got into the seven-seat van, the driver closed the doors and went off to find more people to take back. We sat in the closed van, with no air-conditioning, windows shut, for fifteen minutes until the driver came back, grumbling about how he was driving a half-empty van.

On any future trips, I certainly will skip the “Island of Flowers"; Martinique, its city, its people with their language issues, all can vegetate for all I care.

On cruise ships, service is usually unbelievable. There is a story that if one gets up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, upon returning to the bed, it will be made up, sheets changed and chocolates on the pillow. That may be a slight exaggeration. But not much.

One of the most sybaritic ways to begin the day is with Champagne and orange juice on one’s balcony overlooking the sea. Coffee was outstanding and starting the day with the juice and coffee made me wonder why this was not a practice enjoyed everyday at home. Perhaps that is the lesson learned from cruising. It is an experience best enjoyed on occasion and not an everyday enterprise.

As I have said, we had one measure of discomfort.  Our cabins were immediately below the twenty-four hour pizzeria.  All evening long there was much banging of carts and the sounds of rolling trays were very loud.  We brought this situation to the Purser’s Office. To Carnival's credit, the ship credited our shipboard account a fair, reasonable and generous amount.

We are scheduled for a short cruise on Carnival over New Year’s Eve next month with our friends, Ann and Mal. and I am making room on my desk for several new umbrellas.

And, if all goes well, we are anticipating to take a cruise with our four daughters, their husbands and our fourteen grandchildren in 2008, to celebrate our fiftieth anniversary. So here’s a toast to continued health, all with rum, of course.